Ann Chadwick speaks to the journalist and author, Oliver Burkeman, on the meaning of life as he brings his latest book – Meditations for Mortals – to Durham Book Festival.

Writing This Column Will Change Your Life in the Guardian was ultimately more than a professional job for Oliver Burkeman. He really did want to change his own life.

“My editor at the time on Guardian Weekend saw that I was interested in this stuff and furtively read these books, so she thought she might as well get some content out of it,” Oliver explains. “I don’t think either of us thought it was going to run for more than a year; it ended up lasting much longer.”

He’s since written Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals (referring to how long we have if you live till 80). The Antidote: Happiness for People who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking, and Help! How to Become Slightly Happier and Get a Bit More Done.

He’s heading to Durham Book Festival this October with his latest, Meditations for Mortals.

“I love doing events with this book. It’s just fun to gather in the same room as people who, I don’t want to insult the audience – but, you know what I mean - who are as screwed up as me. They tend to be fun to hang out with, and we have lots of times for questions.”

Oliver’s own issues lie in anxiety. He has come round to the theory that it could be partly passed through his family’s ancestry. His grandmother fled Nazi German as an adolescent.

“I used to scoff at the notion it was cross-generational from the historical experiences of ones’ ancestors, but now I think about it, I’m sure my grandmother was an anxious parent because of her experiences, and a little bit of that gets passed down the line.

“Her extraordinarily thing was she had a really good sense of humour, although she was a total black ball of anxiety in certain ways, and definitely stoic. I think the ability to find humour in life is probably one way that people have found is incredible powerful and a different route to self-help and therapy.”

Another source of anxiety he lays at the feet of modern culture. “The world, the news, if you’re prone to it, it’s there to get you worked up. But I’m a lot less like that now.”

You’d hope so after the incredible research he’s put in.

“I’m not an un-anxious person, but I think I’m a lot less anxious than I was 20 years ago by some measure. So, whether that counts as a triumph or not is hard to say. I think I am more capable of enjoying life instead of just seeing it as something I have to deal with and get out the way. But I won’t probably be ever completely free of that, and that’s the thing to accept as well. It’s okay not to change and spend your life beating yourself up because you haven’t become someone completely different.”

Oliver grew up in suburban York, moved to London for his career, and lived in New York for 12 years (his wife is American), before settling in the North York Moors with his family; his parents still live in York.

“Obviously, there’s an interplay to what I’m advising and writing for other people, and what I’m trying to work out for myself. It’s all the same process. I find what happens is, I have to sort of change my personality a bit in order to finish a book. You have to be more of the person you want to become, so it’s very directly self-help for me, and I think that’s fine. As a reader, I’d rather read a book by someone who has grappled with what they’re writing about than someone who it’s always come naturally to, it’s nowhere near as interesting.”

He often gets asked in podcasts for the secrets to a meaningful life.

“I think how ridiculous it would be for me to list the six things you’re supposed to do in your life to make it meaningful. Firstly, it’s not my place, but second, it’s just obvious right? It’s deep relationships with people, and spending time in nature, and doing some work that you find meaningful. It’s so obvious. That’s not the hard part. The hard part is actually doing it.”

Oliver does think however a book (like his column) can change your life. Meditations for Mortals is designed to offer a reflective meditation a day across the course of four weeks.

“When it comes to advice books, there’s always that gap between knowing what you want to do differently, or having a book that resonates and explains how to do it differently, and then actually doing it. My aim in this book is to really get over that knowing to doing gap. Of course, ultimately a book can’t do that right? You have to do it for yourself. But I think I’ve got as close as I can.”

His wife is currently working on a novel, which he says is not his ambition – his work is rooted in journalism. He doesn’t see himself as a guru or therapist, but he does bring some novelistic qualities to his work.

“In a broader sense, absolutely, a novel can change your life, a biography can change your life - not in the sense that you set out to put into practice some tips that you got out of a book, but just because it makes you see the world in an importantly different way. I think those perspective shifts are far more powerful than any lists of techniques, which is why, in my book, I have shifting perspective rather than lists of steps to follow, because I don’t think that’s the most reliable way to change your life at all.”

He sees his approach as egalitarian.

“I think most of my readers don’t think of me as a great source of wisdom; they’re happy to have someone articulate how the world feels for them too – what it’s like to feel overwhelmed, or you’re not quite sure what you’re doing, or you can never quite get yourself organised. I think my skill is putting it into vivid language, more than it is being a guru, telling you what to do about everything.”

Readers won’t find straight forward tips.

“There’s lots of books through history that are episodic little reflections. The idea is that you might want to read one per day. And they all sort of approach from different angles this basic idea that I call, ‘im-perfectionism,’ which is just the umbrella term for finding ways to live and step into a meaningful and productive and enjoyable life right here and now, even if you do it imperfectly. Instead of this thing that we’re prone to - especially in the modern world - of feeling like we’re trying to get our lives sorted out, and then life can really begin. Or we’re trying to figure out really how to be a good parent, or do our jobs well, or be a good partner, and then real life will begin. My hope is, the structure of it pushes against that temptation of: ok, I’m going to change my life, I’m going to do it perfectly, I’m going to get all my ducks in a row, and I’m going to do it sometime later.”

Oliver says he is happier and definitely less anxious than he was 20 years ago, albeit a work in progress.

“I think self-help is just a way a lot of people work out a lot of their own issues, and that’s totally true of me – it’s advice that I need as much as anyone else,” he laughs.

Meditations for Mortals: Four weeks to embrace your limitations and make time for what counts by Oliver Burkeman is out now (Bodley Head) and also available as an audio book. He will be at the Durham Book Festival at 3.30pm on 13 October.

Go to https://newwritingnorth.com/durham-book-festival/ to book and see the full line-up.